


H-0Roomba

by wickedorin



Category: Tiger & Bunny
Genre: AU, Android, Gen, Robot, a brave stapler makes the ultimate sacrifice, poor decision making
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-16
Updated: 2014-03-16
Packaged: 2018-01-16 19:02:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1358461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedorin/pseuds/wickedorin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written as a fill for a drabble request on AwaitingMassProduction: "H-0Roomba could be a joke design Saito makes if ever such a need arose again. Though he might go too far and give the thing weapons. Mini laser sword (knife) and mini cannon. It cleans rooms AND destroys stuff. Counterproductive to the max!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	H-0Roomba

"I cannot understand why you built it in the first place." Kurou complained behind the hastily-erected wall of filing cabinets and office furniture.

Beside him, Dr. Saito made every attempt to defend himself. "I was curious!"

The sound of the vacuum approaching again was unmistakable. The both of them quieted and stilled, hoping that its next aim wasn’t directly at them. It wasn’t, luckily, though the sound of the mini energy cannon firing was followed immediately by a loud crash. The vacuum then began to clean up the mess that it had created.

Satisfied that the vile electronic was occupied for another few minutes at least, Kurou continued the conversation. “Curious about what, precisely?”

The engineer gestured with his arms, though that didn’t seem to convince the android at all. He opted for a nowhere near specific, "Things."

Kurou came very close to wincing when he heard the robotic vacuum’s energy sword slice through something nearby, causing a great many papers to flood the floor. At least that would give them additional time to figure out their next move. Regardless, something did need to be pointed out. “I do not believe that to be a valid response, Dr. Saito.”

Adjusting his glasses, he attempted to dismiss the entire conversation. "Nevermind that, can you get close enough to disable it?”

It was a slow, cautious movement, hearing the vacuum draw just a bit further away; Kurou partially stood, peering over the filing cabinets as he took note that the vacuum did not seem to be following any logical path. That would indeed make things more difficult. Regardless, sitting back behind their makeshift wall, he assured, “I believe that I can, yes. You will have to distract it, however.”

”Me?”

"With all due respect, Dr. Saito, personally and professionally, this is your fault." There was no time, no patience, and absolutely no desire within the android to present the matter as anything less than factual.

The engineer’s lips pressed together tightly, the urge to deny the accusation very strong. As a scientist, however, he realized that he sort of couldn’t. "Fine, fine. How do you suggest?"

Kurou nodded. “Have you anything to throw back here?”

"Throw?" Dr. Saito glanced around for something that he could fling with a decent amount of potential to do damage, as well. "Ah… the stapler’s within reach…"

"That will do. The intent is not to strike, merely to distract." The android explained, drawing the small energy knife from his arm as he prepared himself to strike. "Throw the stapler as far away from our location as you can manage."

"And then?"

"I will attack the robot." Kurou responded simply.

"Wait, now, don’t break it!” The engineer protested.

"Dr. Saito. It will destroy your lab utterly in a matter of hours." Another cannon shot followed, notably before the previous messes had been fully cleaned. "Likely less."

The man downright pouted. "Well… true, but there’s a good vacuum underneath that!"

"I will build you another vacuum."

"I don’t need you to build me one!” He protested, flailing slightly. Then added, "But thank you."

It was rare that Kurou’s patience could be worn to its absolute minimum. Somehow he was able to express as much. “Dr. Saito.”

"Fine, yes, go ahead."

"Acknowledged." Waiting until the very second when the vacuum’s drone evened out, indicating that it was ready to change direction, Kurou gave the nodded signal. Dr. Saito threw the stapler as hard as he could (which, it must be said, was rather impressive for an engineer), the motion and sound drawing the robot’s attention and fire; and instantly, Kurou leaped over the filing cabinets and struck.

The man cringed at the sounds which followed. There was a high-pitched mechanical screeching and then more cannon fire, something grinding hard enough to finally break and then one very long mechanical screech. There were several seconds of nothing, utter silence… then Kurou stood, the remainder of the “H-0Roomba” danging from one hand. “Dr. Saito.”

"Yes, Kurou."

"Why did you equip it with armor?"

The man’s lips pressed together thinly once again. "It seemed like a good idea at the time, Kurou."


End file.
